So yesterday was quite literally a day that I never saw coming. God, how could I?

I took my blog silent, wasn’t going to let anyone in so that I could rant and rave in privacy. However, I didn’t really do any ranting, certainly no raving. And today, I have been filled with this quiet calm.

I can’t explain it.

I should be dying right now, and yet I am not. This is without question, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But for whatever reason, I am doing it. Without regret, without fear, without expectation of any certain outcome. And I have been renewed with a sense of who I am, with a sense of right and wrong, with a sense of hope. Hope that whatever is supposed to be, will be. And for now, that is enough.